Replying to LO25731 --
Peggy Stuart <pstuart@ctt.bc.ca> wrote:
> I try to do be genuinely appreciative by paying attention to what is going
> on in my work-mates' lives, both professionally and personally. This gives
> me the explicit and tacit information I need to appreciate the people
> around me. That to me is the most important part ... you have to truly be
> appreciative. Recognize the person behind the work. Understand that these
> human that you spend 1/3 of your day with are worth listening to. Be aware
> that everyone possesses something fascinating about them that you could
> learn from.
>
> And communication being 80 percent non-verbal, I feel that this feeling
> gets effectively communicated to the people around me whether I open my
> mouth or not.
Just a minor point (in this context): there was a discussion on this point
on TRDEV recently that the research leading to the 80% figure mentioned
above (or at least the research everyone over there was able to find)
didn't quite say that. It said (loosely, from my memory) that, in the
case of mixed messages, people were ~4 times more likely to take their
cues from the non-verbals than from the verbals. (I don't actually
remember the percentage; I'll take Peggy's 80% as the number.)
That doesn't say that we communicate 80% through non-verbals but that the
non-verbals are more believed when people perceive a difference between
what is verbalized and what is "non-verbalized." People who misunderstood
this seemed to go off on the tangent that verbals don't communicate and
don't matter. Check on TRDEV for more insight.
That's what Peggy seems to be saying, anyway, in this case.
Bill
--Bill Harris 3217 102nd Place SE Facilitated Systems Everett, WA 98208 USA http://facilitatedsystems.com/ phone: +1 425 337-5541
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