Richard Heyduck wrote about his challenges with his small United
Methodist Church In NE Texas:
>>I have great difficulty getting people to respond to what I say, whether in
>>my preaching, teaching, or board presentations. For the most part they just
>>stare at me. My conclusion is that I'm failing to communicate. Their
>>explanation is that they're just not very responsive people.
Richard:
You've received a number of comments on this post, but I haven't seen this
one: Observe closely at times when people appear to be listening. Notice
what it being said - in its particulars - i.e, the level of detail and the
specificity with which the content relates to people's individual
experience. Also notice the language, i.e., "how" things are said. Note
the complexity of speech (grammar and diction) as well as the overall
level of the vocabulary. Then determine for yourself whether "they're
just not very responsive people." Perhaps there's a kind of codependence
at work, where they characterize themselves as unresponsive in order to
protect you. When you see them in a responsive >mode, you'll know.
I recall you saying that you're an ABD and you're dealing with people who
have high school educations. I've had a lot of experience with this kind
of gap, and when I finally realized that people were right when they
called me supercilious,egotistical and superior, I was able to get off my
intellectual high horse and just be a normal human being (well, I tried,
anyway).
At my current level of developement, I find myself trying to speak to
people's hearts rather than their minds, even if the subject matter is
dry, intellectual or technical. When I remember that I'm dealing with
human beings I do better than when I treat people like disembodied
intellects. I also bear in mind that it's more important to do what the
situation calls for, rather than pursue my agenda. I may want to convey
an idea, but if the situation calls for something else, then I have a
choice: to adapt or to swim upstream.
Maybe in the future this will come naturally (further development, I
hope). But in the meantime, it just takes work. It's good work, though,
and I recommend it to anyone who sincerely wants to develop
interdependence with others.
Best of luck, Richard.
Dave
-- David E. Birren Organizational Consultant, Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources Ph: 608-267-2442, Fax: 608-267-3579 <birred@mail01.dnr.state.wi.us>"Teach thy tongue to say 'I do not know' and thou shalt progress." -- Maimonides
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>