Germlish LO14320 -Humor

Bill Godfrey (bgodfrey@ozemail.com.au)
Mon, 14 Jul 97 09:09:55 +1000

This has nothing to do with learning as such - except perhaps as an
analogy for what good intentions can do if misplaced - but seemed worth
passing on as a bit of humour. Source unknown.

> The European Union commissioners have
> announced that agreement has been reached to
> adopt English as the preferred language for
> European communications, rather than German,
> which was the other possibility.
>
> As part of the negotiations, Her
> Majesty's Government conceded that English
> spelling had some room for improvement, and
> has accepted a five-year phased plan for
> what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
> short).
>
> In the first year, "s" will be used
> instead of soft "c". Sertainly, sivil
> servants will resieve this news with joy.
> Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k".
> Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
> typewriters kan have one less letter.
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm
> in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph"
> will be replased by "f". This will make
> words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of
> the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
> stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible. Governments will enkorage the
> removal of double letters, which have always
> ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
> wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s
> in the languag is disgrasful, and they would
> go.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be
> reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" by
> "z" and "w" by "v".
>
> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
> kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and
> similiar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters.
>
> After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
> sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no more
> trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
> ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
> Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

ma ze fors be wiz u.

Bill Godfrey
Bill Godfrey & Associates Pty Ltd
8 Reibey Place, Curtin, ACT 2605, Australia
Tel: (61) 6 282 2256
Fax: (61) 6 282 2447
email: bgodfrey@ozemail.com.au
BookWatch site: http://webtrax.com.au/BB/BookWatch.bbd

-- 


Bill Godfrey <bgodfrey@ozemail.com.au>


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