Doc has hit upon an important issue:
"I do advocate that learning orgs need to encourage individual review of
values (personal mastery) AND need to create (cooperatively) a set of
values and principles that guide the organization in its' behavior. This
is one of the best ways that I know to establish congruency between
behavior and hyperbole (oops--walk and talk!). Indeed--it's also a
wonderful way to determine whether or not you share sufficient values with
others in your organization to even stay where you are."
This is a beautiful paragraph for a number of reasons:
First I love the fact that Doc emphasizes the importance of individual
values in human life. Far too many people I know live without any
conscious awareness of what they value; some inherit their parents values,
others accept the values they read in literature, while others just go
along with the flow. The one thing the thread on competition and
cooperation has shown is that the participants on this list have clearly
defined values and understand why they value what they do.
Doc's point that one needs to know their own values to decide if they're
where they should be also resonates with me. I spend a lot of time
deciding what I value, why I value what I do, and then finding
environments where I can share those values with others. My wife says I'm
obsessive about it, but I find it a really good way to make sure I am
placing myself in a context where I can thrive. There is nothing more
frustrating and growth-impeding then to place oneself in an environment
where you are at odds with everyone else.
At the same time I've come to learn some pretty powerful lessons in the
last few months. When I moved to Boston I struggled to find friends who
shared my values. I would get to know someone, and we'd get into a
discussion about value-related topics and we'd clash. The friendship was
young and fragile and it would fall apart.
Eventually my wife and I made friends with a couple who are very well
educated, and who, for the most part, value those things that I disdain. I
was aware early on that we were in extreme disagreement, but I liked them
enough that I bit my tongue when controversial topics arose. When we
interacted with them I spent my time looking for common ground. It was
tough at the beginning because our differences screamed so loud.
Soon, however, I found we shared a number of values. These provided a
sense of agreement and unity, and acted as a building block for
friendship. As the friendship has matured and become more intimate, we
find ourselves able and willing to discuss issues that early on might have
been enough to cause the friendship to dissolve. We are now learning from
each other, and both couples are noticing a subtle but noteworthy shift in
our own values.
We now call our talks "kitchen chat," because we sit around the kitchen
table and engage each other in conversation. Our life experiences, while
different, share many of the same tones and hues, and we find ourselves
identifying with each other more and more.
For me this represents a significant amount of growth, as I'm usually very
selective about my friends (I still am, it's jus the selection criteria
has expanded).
Only now am I beginning to see that I've spent a lifetime defending
positions that function better as a starting point for dialogue and not a
conclusion or statement of fact. In some ways I regret the energy I've
wasted being confrontational and myopic. At the same time I find it
thrilling to learn and grow, and that can only happen as we move from an
incomplete to a more complete state.
The world is a much more beautiful place when it is seen from the eyes of
others, and not just our own.
--
Benjamin Compton
DWS -- "The GroupWise Integration Experts"
A Novell Platinum Partner
bcompton@dws.net
http://www.emailsolutions.com
--Ben Compton <BCompton@dws.net>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>