Replying to LO24761 --
Fellow seekers:
I'm relatively new to the list, having been a lurker and browser for some
time, and once or twice a contibutor, I believe about two or three years
ago.
Lon Badgett's reply to Richard Karash's post about the direction and
content of the online dialogue reminded me of a story I've heard a few
times in persuit of martial arts wisdom:
Two monks traveled through a forest near their temple.
They came upon a woman wishing to cross a stream, but
not wishing to soil her garments.
One of the monks told the woman he would help
her across the stream on his back.
The other monk then admonished the first; "you know
we take vows of celebacy, that we cannot touch a woman !"
The first monk replied, "we also take vows to help others in
trouble as best we can", whereupon he hoisted the woman
on his back, and walked her across the stream.
After parting company from the woman, the two monks
traveled in silence several miles, when the second, still
upset with the first, said "I still cannot believe you allowed
yourself to touch that woman...I will have to report this to
our master".
The first then replied, "hmmm...I let go of that woman back
at the stream some time ago....it is clear that you cannot......."
Martial arts teaches calm in the storm. To do what is appropriate calmly
in a chaotic situation is the hallmark of an artist, whether martial or
otherwise. This is difficult to achieve, even after years of practice.
We can help each other understand our models and feelings when we notice
them. If someone makes us feel uncomfortable or annoyed, we should be
able to say that here without it escalating into the online version of a
brawl. We also need to be sensitive to other's input, not bristling at
the least provocation. Developing that kind of close, trusting
relationship is difficult enough in person; on-line it is exponentially
more so.
We're all at different levels of insight and growth. Dialogue is supposed
to have blowups and bring out deep-seated feelings. If we can work
through all that to find common meaning and learning then this forum will
be well worth it.
If someone is too long-winded, or opinionated, or intolerant, or
condescending, we as members of this learning group should try to help
that person draw out WHY they are being that way, and help them see the
feelings behind the behavior.
My personal drives include a long-standing fear of social situations, and
a deep-seated need for recognition of my ability to step outside of the
furor and help people see the bigger picture (an ability still in
development....).
The most valuable benefit of this dialogue may not be the intellectual
knowledge we get, but our ability to see emotional reactions and behaviors
in ourselves and others, and help each other work through these for
self-knowledge.
Thanks for reading.
Tom Clifford
--------------------------------------------------
"Our remedies oft in ourselves to lie,
which we ascribe to heaven"
- Helena, Act I, Scene I
All's Well that Ends Well
--"Thomas Clifford" <tclifford@mhc.net>
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