As an additional thought in response to Jo & Doc on manipulation I would
offer the following:
Boulding (1985) described five modes of interaction which I have
personally found very helpful in understanding what's going on in
situations. There are actually six modes described below because
McMaster (1995) added the sixth on during a conversation on the Learning
Org List.
Parasitic - the parasite feeds on its host for its survival,
to the detriment of the host, and eventually to the detriment of
itself,
for once it kills the host it must find another host to survive.
Prey/Preditor - the preditor feeds on the prey to the detriment
of the individual prey and to the detriment of its own species,
yet this is beneficial to the prey species overall
as it limits the prey population.
Threat - if you do (or don't do) something I want (or don't want)
you to do
then I won't do something you don't want me to do.
Exchange - if you do something I want you to do then
I will do something you want me to do.
Integrative - where you and I come together to accomplish something
we both want.
Generative - where you and I come together and accomplish something
neither of us had any idea of before we came together.
be well,
-- Gene Bellinger OutSights, Inc. creating new insights through outside perspectives http://www.outsights.com/
Learning-org -- An Internet Dialog on Learning Organizations For info: <rkarash@karash.com> -or- <http://world.std.com/~lo/>