David Wilkinson asks,
"Ben, what do you mean by "touchy-feely"? Is it a way of thinking? Is it
a way of acting? I am interested in your definition."
I think it is both a specific attitude and a specific behavior. I would
label it as pretentious caring. At times it's much worse: oppressive
caring. I would say that oppressive caring is a manifestation of
pretnetious caring.
Oppressive caring comes when someone is so concerned with one persons
well-being or happiness or success that they punish others to help them
achieve it. In an effort to help the helpless (or the apparently helpless)
they punish the self-reliant. Watch th is next time you're involved in a
touchy-feely situation and see if I'm not right.
There is a distinction between genuine interest in another person, their
welfare, and their success, and the touch-feely stuff I've seen at work.
My closest friend (outside of my wife) is not a touchy-feely person. He is
direct, blunt, and excruciatingly honest. But I know he genuinely cares
for me, more so than anyone who has ever tried to be "sensitive" to my
particular needs. Interestingly enough, my wife is the same way.
-- Benjamin Compton DWS -- "The GroupWise Integration Experts" (617) 267-0044 ext. 16 E-Mail: bcompton@emailsolutions.com http://www.emailsolutions.comLearning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>