Brock Vodden wrote:
> What about one's feelings for, or caring for, one's boss? Do feelings of
> this kind affect the way you perform? Is it possible to overcome an
> intense dislike for him or her, with no effect on the performance?
Brock,
I have learned to look beyond my boss's short-comings.It is hard. I was
the object of an intense power struggle in my agency. My supervisor chose
to try and stop my membership on a committee by attacking my ability
personally at the line position and at the middle management position.
Luckily, I had the support of committee members and the executive
director. Senior management had used my supervisor. I have still
continued on the committee. I have outlasted my co-workers anger and have
gained their respect. I speak out against what has been said about me or
blamed on me and give my side of the story. My integrity is my strongest
asset. It has been trying and hurtful. However, what made it bearable and
helped me to continue to work is the understanding of what was
understanding the politics and knowing it was an attempt to conrol and
manage me. I am working on forgiving and moving on. It is hard to trust
one's supervisor when they use you as a fall guy. I don't think there is
an easy answer for you. I think it has to do with your judgement and
whether you feel your promotion would have compromised your ability to do
the job, because of your feelings for your boss.
Part of what is helping me is to understand the changes going on at my
worksite and have empathy for my supervisor. Transition in management and
leadership is occurring at a great pace and not all people understand this
or are willing to step forward and deal with the fallout due to this
change. It is unfortunate your supervisor didn't accept this
responsibility. Have you talked to your supervisor or is that possible?
Part of the reason I also am trying to move on and forgive is for the sake
of my co-workers. We are a team and for the team I need to move beyond my
feelings. I have also confronted my supervisor. It was denied that
anything happened. I am learning what to tell people and what not to. I am
also learning to manage my supervisor. I am learning not to take it
personallly and realize it is my supervisors struggle. I also pray for
guidance and ask for help in finding a way to fogive and move on.
Alexandra Jackson
alex1@aloha.net
--Alexandra Jackson <alex1@aloha.net>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>