Levels of Intimacy in Communication LO18740

Robert Bacal (rbacal@escape.ca)
Mon, 27 Jul 1998 00:35:45 +0000

Replying to LO18730 --

On 26 Jul 98 at 11:43, Roxanne Abbas wrote:

> Darla, I see this a little differently than you do, but I'm still
> trying to figure out why it's a big deal to me. I don't want to
> feel like everyone else that is attending the meeting. When I put
> on a costume such as a business suit I fear that it might influence
> how I think. And if we're all trying to conform, to look similarly
> and act similarly, won't this lead to group think?

I don't know where this fits, but I thought you might find it
interesting. When I worked "for someone else' I typically wore
sneakers in the office...partly because I was having foot problems
and I could be comfortable without buying expensive shoes and
orthotics. It also fit my image internally.

BUT, when I did training (except for training the trainer stuff), I
put on dress shoes. Why? Two reasons. First, because I didn't want my
sneakers to be a distraction to my goal. Second, it was like putting
my "game face" on. It focused me on the particular part of me as a
person that was needed in the setting. AND, at the end of the day, my
ritual was to change back to my sneakers, which was my signal to put
the day behind me...that the day (and that role) were concluded.

I passed this on to a novice trainer to help her not take what
happened in the classroom or group home. Think about the day. Change
your shoes. Now it's done. Leave it.

Wanna know what I wore for train the trainers? My wife knit me a
custom sweater (black) with a HUGE question mark on the front. That I
wore with sneakers, because it reiterated my role...to get them to
grapple with questions. To help them...to be a bit zany and
different, and to make them think.

Institute For Cooperative Communication http://www.escape.ca/~rbacal
Coming Soon: New book: Conflict Prevention In The Workplace! Related resources at http://www.escape.ca/~rbacal/conpre.htm
Robert Bacal (204) 888-9290

-- 

"Robert Bacal" <rbacal@escape.ca>

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