It started with the bombings (actually it started on this listserv with
the bombings); it unfortunately started long before then...maybe when Eve
said, "Forget you God, I'm going to try that apple!"
In At's view he hurt me by giving me a one sentence response to my query
about all the problems in the world; I knew there wasn't an easy answer;
I knew there were many more questions; what I didn't expect was that At
would know so many of the questions that need to be answered! For that I
thank him.
He thought he hurt me by giving me a pat, one sentence answer; I told him
personally that I understood why he thought that, but that in my view he
hadn't...one of the benefits of living in New Jersey and the US is a thick
skin! Sadly, maybe that's also a necessity of just living anywhere!
Perhaps you've heard of our recent catchphrase here, political
correctness? It's so difficult (read 'virtually impossible') to say
things without hurting anyone...the philosophy behind being PC is
admirable...the result in practice, though, is that people are reluctant
to say what's on their mind and thus PC creates a distancing of
people...and I think, in your view, adds to the hurt while trying to
prevent it.
What a world we've woven for ourselves, huh? None of us will have all the
answers by the time it's time to leave...but I'm pleased to know that some
of us will still have questions!
I want to do some more thinking about At's 'parable' of his children and
how I can apply that to my own. The distinction between "hurting from
hubris" and "hurting from learning" is interesting...I'm not sure exactly
how I'll translate that into my relations with my boys, but I know there's
a lot there in just six words. I also want to factor in Ben's teaching of
his questioning with his children as that also "rang true" for me.
I work harder at parenting than anything I've ever done... actually, not
work, but labor (emerge?) lovingly at it (most of the time!)
Once, as I was preparing to give a presentation in graduate school, I
admitted to my professor that I was very confused by all of it and was
concerned that it wouldn't come together for those to whom I was
presenting (paper on Probabilistic Functionalism in case you're
curious...an esoteric school of psychological thought). He said something
I'll never forget and often quote. He said, "Good, then you're prepared!
If you understood it all I'd have said that you needed to study more...the
fact that you're confused tells me that you're ready to present."
Ben's story has creatively constructed some of my parenting...At's story
has creatively destroyed some of Ben's! Between the two I know there's a
valuable lesson(s) waiting...and I'm eager to see where it takes me!
Back to Learning Organizations...
Action without learning seems far too common. Learning without action
also. Organizations of all sorts seem to place action as a number one
priority to succeed, but they emphasize that goal almost to the exclusion
of sensible thought. Now, admittedly, no organization would succeed if
all it did was think about what it was going to do. Yes, organizations
invest heavily in teaching people to think...and to act...and to learn.
But, in my experience, there are frequently models of activity outside
this sensible process that seem to undermine the motivations of people
within to follow the model. Learn from the teachers directly At said, not
just from those who DO based on the teaching...as they're frequently off
the mark.
Apologies to those who might think this off base...I'm trying to be
constructively destructive and constructive and use this forum to solidfy
my thoughts...rampant as they are!
Cordially,
Doug Max
--LR Communication Systems, Inc. http://www.LRcom.com 139 Dogwood Lane Berkeley Heights, NJ 07922-0264 USA
Training in business writing and presentation skills. Seminars, distance learning/correspondence programs with personal feedback. Online options. Editing services. Founded in 1969.
E-mail for business: mail@LRcom.com personal: dmax@bellatlantic.net
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