You said;
>Doug, I have five children between 22 and 28. Me and my wife tried to
>teach them how to question life. Their questioning made other people
>(such as teachers and peers) to hurt them immensely. Their "hurt
>through learning" was also my hurt because I was responsible for it. As
>they grew older, I saw how they reduced their hurt by questioning much
>less. However, they became hurt in a new way because of their ignorance
>and arrogance. Their "hurt through hubris" hurt me and my wife even
>more because it is much worse than their "hurt through learning".
I also have children, two, ages 19 and 21. The oldest one is male, the
other female. I too taught them through asking. I also found "teachers"
to be the most close minded of all. Whether they are scholars on the
university level or teachers in the church 'Sunday school'. And I have
felt the pain caused them by short sighted, closed minded, insecure
"teachers". I have fought this ignorance my entire "parent" life.
I have the crazy notion that to teach we must listen. And to learn we
must talk. That is to say; by listening, I am teaching you that what you
are saying/asking is important. By talking, I am repeating what I heard
you say to gain understanding. Even when I do not agree with what you
say, I still need to understand what you say, and maybe even understand
why you say it. (I learned this foolishness from Covey's 7-Habits)
I have also seen my children reduce the hurt to themselves by not teaching
or learning. I am trying to help them understand self-esteem comes from
inside, not from what others say or think. But it is hard for youth to
understand the things that come from age and experience. Any ideas you
may have would be welcome.
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise
from another place, but you perish. And who knows but that you have come
to this position for such a time as this? Esther 14:4 my Version David
--"Guinn, David I" <dig@eastman.com>
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