Sorry I am so late at getting back this response. Margaret asked if the
class that I went to about di a logic taught us how to attain the those
qualities in a group (Trust, Meaning, Respect, and Authenticity)?
It was a 2 day class in which we worked in small and larger groups, there
were a total of 16 people in the class. They went over the Do/Don't skills
that help keep dialogue focused which were:
What I do expect/ What I don't expect
What I mean/What I don't mean
What I intend/What I don't intent
What I understand/ what I don't understand
What I can support/What I can't support
What I can tolerate/What I won't tolerate
What I want/What I don't want
The principles of dialogue are:
Connecting precedes content
Relationships are Co-created
Value shared interest over self interest
Honor others through shared respect
Seek synergy through shared meaning
Guidelines for dialogue
-Trust that people of good intentions can work through difficult issues
together.
- Respect each others' right to have different points of view.
- Speak clearly, authentically in ways that encourage feedback.
- Seek shared meaning through engaged listening.
Taking time saves time.
- Learn your Trigger style and how to know when you are going to that
style, Avoider or Attacker.
- Trigger styles usually result from assumptions we make about ourselves
or others....
- Even the playing field by giving others the benefit of the doubt.
Finding a common ground.
- Steps to reaching shared interest and shared strategy:
- Connect first
- Balance inquiry and advocacy, suspend assumptions
- Find common ground
- Generate possibilities
- Select an option
Compromise 1+1= 1 1/2
Synergy 1+1=3
Honor others through shared respect
Balancing inquiry and advocacy
Process of reflecting and summarizing
Undiscussables cost relationships and expand human energy.
I don't know if I got to the point here. But they had us practice the
skills with different exercises. One of them had us getting together with
someone and talking about our first job, what we liked what we didn't
like, basically it was an icebreaker activity that got us to know one
another a little better, and than we shared the activity with the whole
group. Another was people that had first cars' that were similar in some
way and than they were given a totally different subject to talk about,
again something to get the conversation started. All the way through the
2 days it was going over the principles and than working on them. It was a
wonderful enlightening 2 days. Just hope I continue to use the skills. I
am a big time avoider, I am trying to engage more.
Edie Happs jimhapps@jps.net
--Jim Happs <jimhapps@jps.net>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>