John Gunkler replies to my:
>> I think what we may need is a kind of "maturity model", a sequence of
>> achievable steps, that lead incrementally away from the cycle of hurt
>> toward a cycle of love. Possibly the first step is to be able to react to
>> hurtful acts from an understanding of why the act happened, and what we
>> want to happen, rather than feeling bound to "demand justice".
> I might suggest that an alternate "first step" might be to try to prevent
> hurt rather than to find a different way to react to it. What I'm
> thinking is this: The context of hurt and response is too limiting. We
> need to expand the way we think about this context and reform it into a
> context of, perhaps, "mutually beneficial interaction."
> If we look at the situation in which hurt can occur as being a situation
> where, instead, mutual benefit can occur -- then we can begin formulating
> a "sequence of achievable steps" that leads toward mutual benefit and,
> even, love.
> Sometimes the most important thing we can do to break out of hurtful
> patterns is not to try to change our reactions directly but to
> recontextualize the situation.
This is very good, but I think it'd work better as a second step, exactly
because it requires a kind of metanoia. It's not too hard to understand
"breaking the cycle", although it's hard to put into practice. But as you
say, the context of hurt and response is too limiting, so next we need to
take a step back and
> expand the way we think about this context and reform it into a context
> of, perhaps, "mutually beneficial interaction."
How's that look? Anyone want to add another step?
--Don Dwiggins SEI Information Technology d.l.dwiggins@computer.org Man ascends through the discovery of the fullness of his own gifts. What he creates along the way are monuments to the stages of his understanding of nature and of self. -- Jacob Bronowski, "The Ascent of Man"
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