>From your posts on this topic, I sense that you value advocacy. For
>example:
...snip...
>How about asking the person espousing a view WHY they hold that view?
...snip...
>Again, how about asking the person WHY they believe somking to be
>harmless? Is this not what psychologists do? Has any parent ever
>overcome a young person's beliefs by weight of data? Or is this more
>likely to engender resistance?
Yes, I do favor advocacy, but my favorite mix is suggested by Chris
Argyris.
It is a mix of advocacy and inquiry:
- advocacy of your point of view, without pulling any punches, but
in a way that's open to challenge
- questions about the other's point of view, including questions
from different levels in the ladder, such as "What leads you to think
this?", "What is your reasoning?", and "What data did you see that
leads you to this?"
Your parenting example is on the mark... It's tough to connect when you're
SURE that young person is doing something which will hurt them. But, isn't
part of it all the baggage that builds up over time? I agree with you that
questions will be effective, but I think we can also improve the QUALITY
of our advocacy.
It is ineffective advocacy when we say,
"Smoking is bad for you... Because I'm your father and I say so!"
It would be more effective to advocate,
"Smoking is bad for you... It killed your grandmother. I've done the
research and I'm convinced it really is bad, not just a myth. Here's the
chart with the data that convinced me. Here's how I read this chart... "
(By the way, I have seen exactly such a chart about smoking... US Death
rates from lung cancer starting at around zero and rising powerfully from
mid century. The curve for women is the same as the curve for men, but it
lags by 20 years. The interpretation is... well, it's obvious to me.)
And, I agree that some questions would help us understand the other's
point of view. With something like smoking and a parent-teen relationship,
it might take some very high quality questions.
-=- Rick
--Richard Karash ("Rick") | <http://world.std.com/~rkarash> Speaker, Facilitator, Trainer | mailto:Richard@Karash.com "Towards learning organizations" | Host for Learning-Org Discussion (617)227-0106, fax (617)523-3839 | <http://www.learning-org.com>
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