There are some risks inherent in asking someone "why" about something that
they probably feel defensive about. I'm more interested in facilitating a
process whereby the other person can expose their thinking and their
feeling. This happens best when I'm not advocating. I am a firm believer
that active listening, reflecting what the other person exposes, and
helping them slow down their own process of reflecting and feeling, is the
very best way to help people change their beliefs.
When I do (and I do) advocate, I try to be very candid about the fact that
I'm advocating my own (belief, opinion, knowledge, etc) point of view. I
have found, though, that if I can explicitly connect what I'm advocating
with some truth that the other person just shared, I can help the other
person create their own new insights.
I also learned a valuable lesson from someone once...and that's that it is
okay to advocate for a value, without dipping into rationalizations. It
exposes integrity (whether one agrees with the value or not).
Doc
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Richard Charles Holloway -
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--"Richard Charles Holloway" <learnshops@thresholds.com>
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