When I was younger, I enjoyed practicing dialectic conversation. This was
a vigorous, disciplined way to examine the ideas and concepts which I was
studying and employing. I still enjoy this process from time to time,
though in synchronicity...not through an e-mail list. The missing
ingredient for me (in the joy of competitive argumentation) is the lack of
physical proximity. Dialogue is not the same as dialectic, though.
As I experienced the deeper, more deliberate conversations I've enjoyed in
dialogue circles and open space meetings, I've become more aware of my own
learning style. I learn in a different manner, and in a more profound
way, I think, when I'm involved in these deep, deliberate ways of
communicating. I learned to listen with, instead of wrestle with, others
when they speak.
I've discovered that I can listen without looking for weaknesses in each
point...and instead listen to the whole idea, the whole argument, of the
person who is speaking. When I speak, I can speak from my heart (and
mind) without seeking to compete with the other person's heart and mind.
Can I disagree in this mode? Better yet, I can advocate for my point of
view in a complete way. I don't look for consensus or agreement in
dialogue...I only seek to listen to and understand the whole person who is
speaking.
So, you see that you and I have discovered that we are different in our
learning styles and needs. And, we agree that dialogue or dialectic may
include opposing ideas or beliefs.
You also inquired about my use of the term, cynicism. Cynicism is a
behavior or style that implies a disbelief in the sincerity of others'
motives. Interestingly enough, it seems that I'm a cynic when I think
that others are being cynical...isn't that a conundrum for us?
That being said, it seems to me that there are "judgments" voiced in this
list that appear to me to be cynical. I've found this on a number of
lists...less so here, probably because of Rick's moderating skills. To
some extent, this disbelief is inherent in the nature of our
conversations, remote and faceless as we are. In reflecting (and looking)
at some of the postings over the last several weeks, I've become aware of
(am I being cynical, here?) what seems to be a growing pattern in this
behavior among certain contributors. Lately the cynicism has become even
more explicit.
regards,
Doc
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"The salvation of the world lies in the human heart." -Vaclav Havel
Richard Charles Holloway -
P.O. Box 2361, Olympia, WA 98507 USA Telephone 253.539.4014 or 206.568.7730
Thresholds <http://www.thresholds.com>
Meeting Masters <http://www.thresholds.com/meeting.html>
--"Richard Charles Holloway" <learnshops@thresholds.com>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>