Replying to LO27994 --
Hi Ross,
About a year ago I contributed several messages about barriers to change
and how to eliminate them. I haven't made any contributions in the past
year or so (although I try to read as many of the contributions as I can)
because I've been spending most of my time in California training
psychotherapists how to produce rapid and permanent behavior change. In
fact, there is so much interest out here that my family and I have decided
to move from Connecticut to the San Francisco Bay Area this summer.
[Host's Note: Morty's msgs were in June 97, July 97, and Feb 2001. You can
find the June items at http://www.learning-org.com/97.06 and similarly.
..Rick]
The answer I would give to your question is that our behavior, with few
exceptions, is a function of our beliefs. A belief is a statement about
reality that we think is "the truth," a fact. We act consistently with
what we think are facts.
We have now worked with well over 1,000 private clients and 10,000
employees to assist them to eliminate the beliefs that are resulting in
undesirable or dysfunctional behavior. When the beliefs are eliminated --
and they can be, quickly and permanently, in a matter of minutes (I know,
most people believe that that is impossible) -- the behavior changes
easily and naturally.
Unfortunately, knowledge does not change beliefs. Thus, if we conclude
early in life that Life is difficult, or Relationships don't work, we will
live out of those beliefs even if the outcome is negative and even if
intellectually we disagree with those beliefs later in life.
I don't agree with the concept of "habits." If you eliminate the beliefs
that are responsible for any given behavior pattern, the "habit"
disappears. If you are talking about a physical addiction such as drugs,
there is a physical "need" for the drug AND beliefs. That's why people
frequently get re-addicted after getting medical help to clear the system
of drugs. They still have anxiety and fear that the drugs cover up. If
the beliefs that cause the anxiety and fear are eliminated, and they can
be, and medical assistance enables one to overcome the physical addiction,
then the drug "habit" will be totally gone.
Regards, Morty
Morty Lefkoe
morty@decisionmaker.com
For further information please visit our
web site at http://www.decisionmaker.com
and read my book, Re-create Your Life:
Transforming Yourself and Your World
> Recently, I have been thinking about all the situations where individuals
> need to change, admit they need to change, yet don't change. Is there
> anything we can learn from addictive behaviors where individuals continue
> to knowingly pursue destructive behaviors? Or maybe the psychology of
> habits and the actions needed to discard bad habits while adopting better,
> self-improving behaviors.
>
> Just some things I have been thinking about. I would appreciate any
> thoughts and references that might address this barrier to change.
--"Morty Lefkoe" <morty@decisionmaker.com>
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