Caring about the boss LO18678

Susan Starr (starr@internorth.com)
Sun, 19 Jul 1998 16:09:54 -0600

Replying to LO18672 --

The posts on the topic 'Caring about the boss' have brought back to me
(yet again) memories of two of my experiences as senior Quality Advisor.

Part of my job responsibility (written into the job description) was to be
the President's (my boss's) alter ego - the conscience of the
organization. I was to coach him in his leadership, though I reported to
him. At the time I accepted the position I was afraid of this man to the
extent that I couldn't walk into his office and keep my composure. I
viewed (read 'judged') his style as confrontational and adversarial, non
supportive. I didn't experience us as being on the 'same side'.

During a trans-contintental flight, I was reflecting on this dilemma and
asking myself what mind-set/head-space I needed to be able to do my job.
I thought of all my relationships, personal and professional, and realized
that the relationship I most wanted/needed with him was the one I had with
those people who reported to me. (I cringe at the word 'subordinate' -
guess we all have our own language preferences.) If they came to my office
angry, yelling, frustrated, I would listen quietly till they vented, then
help them figure out what they needed to do to get back on track. My
boss, however, in my view, wasn't ever supposed to be angry, yell or be
frustrated when I was around. - It was one of those moments of insight -
I had pretty unreasonable expectations of my boss - different from
expectations I had of almost anyone else in my life. (A short summary of
the resolution - we went ahead - did some pretty remarkable work and our
relationship turned 180 degrees within about 3 months)

The second experience occurred some time along in our quality improvement
work. I (in my pretty self-righteous way) had charged the senior
management team with practising and supporting oppressive management
methods. The consultant who was working with us suggested to me that if I
was going to be effective in my work, I would need to have care and
compassion for the oppressors as well as the oppressed. She also pointed
out that the oppressors were frequently in more pain.

These two experiences, among others, significantly changed the way I view
relationships at work

Sue Starr
Yellowknife, NT
Canada

starr@internorth.com

-- 

Susan Starr <starr@internorth.com>

Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>