I would like to share two anecdotes that come to mind that truly explore
levels of intimacy. Both stories are related to mental health/social work
initiatives in the Puget Sound area.
One of my friends (Griselda) is a psychotherapist who is originally from
Argentina. She provides a lot of pro bono work with the local Hispanic
population, most of whom are from the Yucatan or Central America. She
began working first with women and their children, most of whom are very
poor and who are separated from their extended family structure for the
first time in their lives. She found a great need to work with the men in
these families to improve some of the issues that the women and children
brought out in their time with Griselda. However, when she sat the men
down in her office to speak with them, they simply clammed up. There was
no way in hell that these men, many from native populations in the
Yucatan, were going to speak to a strange woman about private matters.
Griselda happened to ask one of the men to help her with some outdoor work
around the ranch she's working to convert into an Hispanic health clinic.
While he was outside working, she went to speak to him and she found that
he opened up and talked with her while he was busy with his hands. She
eventually turned that discovery into a regular treatment
modality--getting the men to work around the ranch while she provides
therapeutic treatment. The level of intimacy was discovered where the
hands could be busy.
In another program that serves at-risk youth of middle school ages (12 to
14), the social workers are also sailors and boatwrights. In taking these
children out into Puget Sound to do contract work for the Department of
Ecology (getting water samples, etc), the counselors found that the
children identified with the damaged ecosystems that they were exploring.
They felt like they are victims of abuse in much the same way that water,
shellfish, salmon and the tidelands are. This empathy (and the fact that
they were working to improve the environment) allowed the children to
share on a deeper level with their family members the feelings that they
had. The significantly improved communication was built around the
children's realization about why they felt the way they did.
The reason I thought of these two examples is that intimacy is developed
in many different ways--and it is always a very fragile condition that
needs to be respected and sheltered. Finding this relationship, and
keeping it, can be one of the most fruitful experiences ever.
walk in peace,
Doc
-- "When you lose the rhythm of the drumbeat of God, you are lost from the peace and rhythm of life." -Cheyenne sayingThresholds--developing critical skills for living organizations Richard C. "Doc" Holloway Olympia, WA ICQ# 10849650 Please visit our new website, still at <http://www.thresholds.com/> <mailto:learnshops@thresholds.com>
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