Kevin Shadix wrote:
"For me, it is key to really try to cultivate a space in which the other
person is really free to respond/be any way they want; that there is no
way they "should" be. It's like being unconditional about it - being fully
committed to my own authentic communication, but not being attached to the
results."
I think that you're really onto one the most important aspects of this
topic, Kevin. I am at a stage of life where it's extremely important to
me that I understand and accept myself and then, that I BE myself. This
is my definition of personal integrity. My words and actions must support
my core beliefs. When I conform to society's expectations, then I lack
integrity, authenticity. Living an authentic life is great and very
difficult in itself, however, your message challenges me to go the next
step. Once I have stripped myself of all pretense, bared by soul and laid
my heart on the table for all the world to see, then I must be okay with
any response that others might have. If they ignore me, that's okay. If
they reject me, recoil in horror at what they see, that's okay. If they
embrace me, that's okay.
Do we humans really ever get to that point? I understand it and desire
the capacity to fully allow others to be who they are and to be unattached
to their reaction to me, but I know I'm not there today. I guess I can
accept that the person who rejects me simply isn't on the same plane as me
and I'd much rather be rejected than have the person fake acceptance. Any
suggestions on how to continue working on this?
--Roxanne Abbas mailto:rabbas@comp-web.com http://www.comp-web.com
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