Levels of Intimacy in Communication LO18774

Darla Gehres (djgehres@ucdavis.edu)
Fri, 31 Jul 1998 11:03:52 -0700

Replying to LO18757 --

I am a firm believer that clothes do not make a person, but yes, they
(wardrobe) present ourselves in everyday situations that we put ourselves
in. The human psyche is so sensitive to outside judgements.

( Note: Rick, I was using the other line of business as a example, as
most practictioners seem too uptight about the clothes of the wearer.)

I manage a small office and we work with alot of paper, etc, so we dress
accordingly.

But there are days when we feel like "dressing up" instead of down.
Whatever you feel comfortable in is alright with me, as long as the
clothes are not revealing. As a manager, I am perceived to dress
accordingly, as a business suit may make me feel somewhat "superior". I
don't feel that way and I don't feel that this is necessary...I enjoy
standing along side my staff as a team, no matter what I wear. They are
of the same color of thought. Yet, when I do "dress up" I am complimented
on my dress of the day.

Let's put this all in perspective, this subject seems to be directed at a
deeper thought that just the clothes or costume of the person who is
wearing it. Am I right, or just slow in getting the picture?

>For me clothes are symbols and they communicate both internally (to me)
>and to others. People respond to those signals. Of course there are
>many other signals that I send. They may support the signals my clothes
>are sending or they may contradict them. If a "hooker" dresses like one
>but uses the body language of a nun, she either has a very narrow market
>segment or has a problem.
>
>[Host's Note: Hmm... Could we shift towards examples in a different line
>of business? ...Rick]
>
>I also experience myself playing different roles and using my clothes to
>reenforce those roles both for myself and for others. I am a trainer
>and I use different kinds of clothing to communicate different things to
>the groups I work with. Imagine showing up in a white three piece suit
>to demonstrate how to dismantle an engine or in greasy overall to teach
>financial management to boards of directors of multinational companies.
>I am most aware of this when I show up dressed the "wrong" way at an
>event. When we lived in Brussels the church I went to dressed very
>informally, jeans and sweaters. My son was invited to perform at an
>event at another church. I went along to watch. All of the men were
>dressed in business suits except me. My inner person was not damaged
>but I was embarrassed, as was my son. The people I interacted with
>seemed to feel ackward. As far as I know the only difference was the
>clothes.

Darla Gehres
Office Supervisor
2145 Wardrobe Avenue
Merced, CA 95340
PHONE:(209) 385-7403
INTERNET: djgehres@ucdavis.edu
FAX: (209) 722-8856

"When you lose the rhythm of the drumbeat of The Spirit, you are lost from
the peace
and rhythm of life." -Cheyenne saying

-- 

Darla Gehres <djgehres@ucdavis.edu>

Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>