Suzanne--your very moving thoughts reminded of this quote from Gibran. "If
indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully."
I know that we define ourselves not just through our actions and words,
but also through the nature of the relationships we have with others. I
must know who I am to "be myself" -- a path of knowledge that too many
people refuse to walk down.
As you implied, being authentic doesn't mean that I should attempt to
change others. It is appropriate, and right, though that I should
articulate my boundaries (what makes me uncomfortable, for instance) to
others. "Your comments seem rascist to me, and they make me feel
uncomfortable. They make me wonder what you say about me behind me back"
might be a way one could identify boundaries. I might add something like,
"I want to continue having a meaningful relationship with you, but I need
to ask you to stop making comments that make me feel demeaned."
This is the method I attempt to use when I am being candid, or authentic,
in asserting myself in meaningful conversations with others.
regards,
Doc
-- "We cannot do great things in life; we can only do small things with great love." -Mother TeresaThresholds <http://www.thresholds.com> Meeting Masters <http://www.thresholds.com/masters.html> Richard C. "Doc" Holloway Astoria, Or & Olympia, WA USA ICQ# 10849650 voice 360.786.0925
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