Suzanne Sauve said:
"In my attempt to 'live gently' with others, as Don would say, I have
often chosen to stay quiet when I would hear things that upset me inside,
for example a racial comment when my partner wasn't around. In my mind I
was being tolerant, and sometimes I was confused on ho w to react and
wondered if I was not being over-sensitive. I did not want to offend
others and I have been genuinely afraid of losing family members and old
close friends."
Suzanne, it appears to me that you have answered your own dilemma as your
wrote this message. You have been afraid of losing family members and old
close friends. You have allowed your fear to compromise your integrity.
You also said that you have often chosen to stay quiet when you heard
things that upset you inside. I have been learning to trust my body, my
physical and emotional reactions to life around me. When the words of
another upset me inside, I know I must either speak or withdraw from this
person in order to maintain my health. Also, if I choose not to tell the
person my truth, I am building a wall between myself and the other and
thus further damaging a tenuous relationship. Yes, it is risky and
difficult, but I believe you already know what you need to do.
Suzanne, you're a beautiful person, and I suspect that your family members
and friends would never want to lose the joy of your companionship.
Your new, old friend,
Roxanne
Roxanne Abbas
mailto:rabbas@comp-web.com
http://www.comp-web.com
--Roxanne Abbas <rabbas@comp-web.com>
Learning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>