I want to thank Frank Billot for his response to my posing on Levels of
Intimacy in Communications.
Frank said:
"Deep communication starts with oneself. Often, people can't communicate
on deep matters because they ignore their feelings. Acceptance of oneself
along with letting-go of the pursuit of idealistic images is a basis for
accepting others and opening oneself."
We can't share our feelings if we don't recognize our feelings. Carl Jung
talked about the importance of recognizing our dark side. If we've been
taught from early childhood that we shouldn't feel jealous or angry, we
may be suppressing and ignoring these emotions. But I have found that
even when I do admit to myself that I feel hurt or angry, I feel that my
friends have enough of their own problems without having to listen to me
whine. I guess I also think that they want to maintain an image of me as
being above these petty emotions. Maybe, in reality, it's that I want
them to help me maintain this image of myself. And perhaps by talking
through how I feel and beginning to understand why I feel that way, I can
begin to grow beyond this point so these situations won't bother me as
much in the future.
Does any of this rambling make sense? Although I'm known for having an
opinion on everything and certainly willing to share what's going on in my
head, I think I'm better at listening than sharing at the feeling level.
I'm struggling to learn what I must do to open myself more in order to
build deeper relationships.
-- Roxanne Abbas mailto:rabbas@comp-web.com http://www.comp-web.comLearning-org -- Hosted by Rick Karash <rkarash@karash.com> Public Dialog on Learning Organizations -- <http://www.learning-org.com>