Thanks to all who have contributed to this conversation. I find that with
each new contribution I am encouraged to reflect on how I communicate,
with others as well as with myself. It sometimes seems that I am as
reserved with myself as with others. It is a tough journey, fraught with
inner challenge and I must admit that I am not always willing to rise to
that challenge. I guess sometimes its just too scary.
But, on the issue of dress and appearance: I wear an earring, and have
done so for more than 20 years. It is something I am not even aware of
anymore, perhaps a problem due to the initial reason for my continuing to
wear the thing. Initially I had my ears pierced as a whim. When I
married, although Jean and I exchanged rings, we also "shared" a pair of
earrings, and I have worn that ear-ring ever since. (Hence my concern
that sometimes I am not aware of wearing it!) An earring was not easily
accepted in management circles when I first won a competition in the
Public Service. I had to make a decision whether or not to wear the thing
for my interviews. Caught between what I knew would influence the panel,
and a sense of personal attachment and meaning, I decided not to remove
the earring. Yes, there were a number of pointed comments, and at one
point I thought a particularly conservative panel member had struck me off
the list for sure. But, I was successful in that competition, and in
others following. The experience helped me to maintain my integrity on
this issue, and encouraged me to do the same on other important issues. I
often wonder what I would have done had I not won that first competition.
Bought the first "power suit", taken the earring off and splashed on some
aftershave?
I guess its a long story, but I wanted to share my experience about how
the way I was received in that situation (or how I perceived I was
received) helped build a solid foundation for encouraging integrity. Of
course, having a solid foundation does not mean the house is always strong
:-) I still haven't attended a business meeting in shorts and a t-shirt.
It strikes me that integrity may be a little like "fuzzy logic". It may
not be that we either have integrity or not. Nor that we are likely to
maintain that integrity or not by some probability depending on the
circumstance. It seems to me that I maintain integrity to some greater or
lesser degree depending on the circumstance.
Still learning
Les.
--Leslie Lax Kelowna BC
e-mail: leslax@cnx.net web: http://members.cnx.net/leslax
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